Tuesday, May 12, 2009

sex with emily

This is completely off my usual topic.

So... I googled my name. Not my whole name, just "emily." And after a little bit of scrolling I found a blog. It's called "Sex with Emily." Naturally I was intrigued. So I started reading and I think she's brilliant. She doesn't espouse ridiculous touchy-feely opinions or provide 101 Ways to Turn Your Man On or go on some uber-feminist tirade against men. In short, I love it.

As the Comm major I once was I couldn't help but be dragged into a research frenzy after reading one of her blog entries. "Be the person you want to find" She recommends that you cultivate the things you want from someone else in yourself.

Makes sense right? If you want someone smart, motivated, energetic, outdoorsy, and well-dressed then you should probably look smart, act motivated, do something kinetic, hang out under a tree and wear socks that match. On a superficial level that works brilliantly... but what about then you start getting into more depth after covering a wide breadth of subjects? This brings us to my very favorite communication theory... the Social Penetration Theory. Once you get into your deeper feelings on a subject do you really want to find someone who is like you?

Here's the part where we break out the therapists chaise-lounge and see what you really like (or not) about yourself. Now don't give me that "Uh, I'm a happy well-adjusted person so of course I like myself." I know SexWithEmily says you should cultivate what you want from a person you date but what do you do if you're conditioned to look for exactly what you don't like about yourself? How many people have horrible significant others with the same horrible traits they have? How many boyfriends did I go through that drank too much as a distraction, spent too much time on their unneccessary hobbies, and were really horribly untidy because they didn't care? In recent history my own deep dark dirty habits have changed a bit. And though I could never fathom dating myself (Sometimes I'm difficult like whoa), I can certainly see how the positive things I've cultivated in myself are major traits in the amazing significant other I have now (and luckily, he's better at being those things than I am).

So here's to girl's of my namesake who make sense, write great blogs, are objective and cause me to further appreciate the changes I've made and the wonderful people around me who I am so very fortunate to have.


In Other News, I forgot to update $1000 yesterday so I'm off to do that right now. Despite my up-beat mood and rather positive outlook I kind of feel like a blue whale today (in size, not color or biological classification). I've been doing a ton of research lately and it make my brain feel good though. Also, my toes have fallen asleep in my heels and even though I'm really hungry and want to go make some lunch I can't stand up without practically falling over. If you work for a delivery restaurant and are reading this. Help.

As always, some pretty fun links connected throughout the whole thing. Enjoy :)

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