Belly Laugh of the Day

 I received an e-mail notification from my blog when I signed on about ten minutes ago.  It reads as follows:

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Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "A Very Dirty Word.":

Lady, I mean this in the most insulting and patronizing way possible: leave your backwards suburb sometime. You sound like a sheltered hack with a myopic worldview.



Posted by Anonymous to I Don't Like Men Who Own Cats. at May 26, 2011 11:49 AM 

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First, I'd like to say... thank you for your impeccable grammar.  It is the worst when the people attempting to insult you have awful grammar so I'd like to express my sincere appreciation.


Secondly, I don't live in a suburb. Nor, for that matter, have I ever really lived in a suburb.  I'm actually quite well traveled and  currently live in what might be called the anti-thesis of a suburb.

Thirdly,  your criticism is exactly what I am constantly railing against.  Nothing factual, nothing objective, simply a name-calling, knee-jerk reaction to an idea that is differing from your own.  And that, my anonymous friend, merely proves my point.   


Finally, you have provided me with a much needed laugh for the day.  I would like to personally invite you back to 'argue' further with me because I actually appreciate opposing view points and a good, blood-pumping discussion is the whole reason I do this.  However, you're a coward who decided to comment anonymously so my only hope is that you come back hoping to see my equally immature response to your comment and, subsequently, this post infuriates you to the point of another wonderfully literate comment.

In the words of my generation... 

 

Blame Game

I think it is truly sad that so many kids have committed suicide because of whatever pressures they were under. What I think is more sad is that we're convicting other teenagers for doing something that people have been doing for centuries... bullying. Yes, I said 'centuries'. People have been making fun of other people for being weird/different/strange/whatever for longer than any of us can remember. Only in recent history are we hearing about kid after kid after kid killing themselves because they're being picked on. Decades ago you let the bully pick on you until you got fed up then you mustered up your courage and socked him in the eye. Even more recently you told your mom and then your mom told the bullies mom and the bully got grounded. If anyone was commiting suicide is wasn't for bullying. Bullying was just part of growing up. You want to know what the difference is between then and now?

The parents.

Yes, grieving Mom's and Dad's I am pointing a finger at you. Don't pawn off your short-comings on other kids who are still dealing with this growing up thing just like your kid was. Don't cry on TV about how awful being a teenager must be.

Own up to the fact that you were not there to teach your child to LAUGH at bullies for being so small-minded and insecure that they have to pick on the skinny/gay/short/whatever kid.

Own up to the fact that while your child was crying themselves to sleep you were making sure your DVR was set correctly.

Own up to the fact that you talk to your children so little they never had the chance at the dinner table to tell you what was wrong so you could fix it.

Like so many celebrities who are now standing up against the 'atrocity' (p.s. that's my sarcasm font) that is bullying, I was bullied too. And you know what happened? My Mom asked how my day was at one point, and she talked to me enough that it was standard operating procedure to actually tell her how my day was. I told her what was happening and she said, "the next time you see that girl tell her you like her shirt, smile and walk away. She will never know what hit her." And that's exactly what I did. That girl continued to pick and pick and pick and each time I would laugh with her and make a lightly self-deprecating bad joke ("Yeah, I didn't want to look too smart this morning so I wore my stupid shoes.") And after a few weeks it stopped and I was on top of the world.

And what got me through those few weeks of her incessant picking? My parents.

And what made me smile through my teeth and laugh at her even though sometimes she was really hurtful? My parents.

Stop being cowards.

Stop being the most selfish generation known to man.

Stop blaming children for your shortcomings.

Your children killed themselves. No one else did bodily harm to them. And all that psychological hurt that they were going through could have been fixed, helped, healed by you. So no, I will not participate in your rememberance and wear rainbows day. No, I absolutely will not endorse whatever bullshit bullying legislation you're trying to pass. What I will endorse is you taking better of the kids you are damned lucky to still have. I absolutely will support you taking responsibility for your inaction and letting these bullies learn their lessons like teenagers will.

Yes, I know. I have no sympathy bone. But that's not entirely true. I feel for every teenager who feels like their inadequate, weird, unaccepted, studid and just plain old not good enough. And each and everyone of them should know be weird and unacceptable. Be unique. Be quirky. Get picked on. And then you know what, show some true character and laugh it off, or take care of it.

HAHAHAHAHA

So the gist of this story is that the NAACP is going to meet to discuss whether or not to boycott a Nascar race in Florida because of the presence of the Confederate flag.

NAACP Branch Readies for Confederate Flag Fight

Let me get this straight. Angry black Americans are going to meet to decide whether or not to boycott a social/sporting event that is rarely attended by anyone other than rednecks and race fans who are 9 time out of 10 of the very white (and usually incredibly sun-burned) persuasion. Excuse me while I go roll with laughter because this is just ridiculous.

Seriously, kids, live and let live. Who cares if someone else flies a Confederate flag? It's their own choice to still think the Civil War rages on. On another note, go read Larry Elder's book The Ten Things You Can't Say in America. One of his first chapters is about how Black American racism is worse than that of White Americans and he makes some seriously convincing points. Now, I'm not saying the NAACP is an antiquated over-zealous group of hate-mongers who are intent on keeping themselves and their race "down" in order to maintain the benefits but I kind of think the NAACP is an antiquated over-zealous group of hate-mongers who are intent on keeping themselves and their race "down" in order to maintain the benefits.

I personally don't care what flag you fly, what group you join, what candidate you support, or what sporting event you attend... just don't mess with mine. I'll keep my W stickers around for as long as I feel like it, I'll continue to be a member of the National Libertarian Party, and I'll hopefully get to go to the 500 next year. In the mean time, do whatever you feel like. Live and let live... I really don't see how that's so hard. In short, Brian France CEO of Nascar said it best, "It's not a flag [the Confederate flag] that I look at with anything favorable, that's for sure," France told CBS in 2005. "I can't tell people what flag to fly. I can tell you the flag we get behind — it's the American flag." Amen, Mr. France.

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In Other News, I had the best Memorial Day weekend. We had a pretty crammed social calendar which was a very nice, though slightly unexpected change. Being social is a great reminder of how much more I like my amazing significant other than I do other people. I haven't talked to the familia in probably a week and it's getting difficult. Audrey, if you're reading this and you don't immediately email me the link to refill the phone card I may be forced to call Janet Reno and tell her never to say hi to you again... and also to punch you in the face. Nothing big happening in the near future... but at the end of June my favorite Hawaiian cousin is coming to visit! Can't wait :)