Stupid Headlines

Sorry, it's been so long. Yes, I know you missed me ranting. And I know you're all thankful I'm ending my four day hiatus... I'll just say it now, You're Welcome. :) P.S. Lots of neat links in the following blog... Enjoy!

I opened my iGoogle this morning to check the weather so I could go appropriately dressed to take over the world, and I noticed something odd. Among the usual headlines was something that stuck out. It didn't stick out because it was so astoundingly important, it didn't stick out because it was shocking, it stuck out because the first thing that crossed my mind was "Who the Hell Cares?!"

Model Claims Tony Parker Cheated on Eva Longoria With Her

What terrifies me is that someone is out there thinking... "Ooooooh! Ahhhhhh! Oh My Goodness, I wonder if Eva is alright?! "

WHY IS THIS NEWS?

Why on earth wasn't the Federal Raid of Al Sharpton's office a headline? Why isn't the story about the Global Warming Charts kind of being a mistake a headline?

WHY CAN'T I FIND ANYTHING WORTH READING IN MY HEADLINES?!

(yes, i'm typing in all caps because in my head I'm yelling)

There are just as many stories in the sidebar on FoxNews.com about celebrities as there are about anything actually relevant. I can find out that Katie Holmes told some magazine what turns Tom on. and that Paris Hilton is covered in gold paint for no damn good reason.

Where did the real news go? And why does no one care about it? Are we so apathetic about our own world that we'd rather read about other people's lives? Is there nothing about the politics of our world that is interesting? Don't people like knowing that Al Gore is wrong?! I will be keeping my iGoogle. However, in an effort to expand my exposure to real news I will be adding Yahoo! News, CNN News, and the News Busters Blog to my homepage.

Where exactly has all the real news gone? : (

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In Other News, a Doctor who has written two books, is in the process of writing another and went to UT (Longhorns, woot woot) loved one of my papers so much that he wants a copy. He said it was a "pleasure to read." Man, I'm good. Also, I leave for Cuba in less than 36 hours. This is exciting and sad at the same time, one of those bittersweet things that just makes you appreciate what you've already got and potentially will have. But never fear! I will be back! and I'll also keep writing while I'm in Cuba. I'm going to miss the greatest friends on earth desperately.

The Real Reasons Why Liberals Worry About Global Warming

As you very well know, I am a fan of lists. In order to keep me from rambling and going too far to the wayside I'll present the Real Reasons Why Liberals Worry About Global Warming in list form... with lots of pictures :)

1- Global Warming has the Same Initials as George W.
that really isn't much of a reason so much as a nifty coincidence. If Al Gore can't win against one GW, he'll fight against the other.

2- Global Warming Could Potential Drown Their Constituency
Now, according to a political map of red and blue states a large portion of the blue states touch water, minus New Mexico and Iowa. (disclaimer: this is the first red/blue state map I stumbled upon, and in the interest of time and my more serious academic ventures i used this instead of something that is absolutely accurate and harder to find on GoogleImage... it's for a silly blog, deal with it.)

[IMG]http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b180/EmyGrace/statesfinal.gif[/IMG]

And according to my eight minutes of extensive research global warming will cause the oceans, lakes and rivers of the world to have a "total relative rise of between 55 and 60 centimeters over a century." By my calculations (I'm not a math major so this could be wrong), that means in a century the water would rise 1.968 feet. That's not a considerable about but enough to start threatening the east coast. Add a few more centuries on to that and we're six or seven feet underwater. Which again (by my calculations) could cover a lot of stuff. So the map would look more like......

Yes, I know, you're all so very impressed by my Paint It! skills. However, please keep reading.

A lot of the red states lose some ground as well, however, my being mostly located in the core of America red states are kind of buffered. Now, I realize how very scientific my predictions are, but, really could they be that far off? I think we'd lose most of michigan (as well as Florida, which is a real shame) and considering how perilously close a lot of the North East has pushed its cities to the water, I think a ton of that would disappear too.

Anyway, that's why liberals are getting nervous... and why conservatives drive SUVs. Our lovely red states are going to be alright, and their blue states, well, there's not much hope.

And just for fun.... i found this map while I was looking for the other one... enjoy :)

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In Other News, after giving up drinking in order to be a little thinner for one day I gave up and shared three pitchers with two of my very greatest friends. I also got to talk to my Mommy last night... which was fantastic. Mommy's very good at putting my head on straight, although, I can't seem to get excited about any where else but Dallas. I have two weeks left in this semester, and hot damn, it flew by fast. I cannot wait to be in Cuba on the 15th of December and then in the water later that day :) I have a particular soft spot today for people who are far away (I really didn't mean for that to rhyme, I'm simply trying to explain that I miss you guys... call me). Homework time, ever written a paper on Metz's Screen Shot Theories as applied to Requiem for a Dream? Sweet, email it to me so I can use it.